Posted on March 11, 2012 by Matty Stone
There’s a scene in the film The Terminator when the human-looking robot played by the former Governor of California is asked an inappropriate question. From his point of view, there is a computerized choice of options on how to respond. This is it:
I don’t think I’m special when I say that I do this also. Years of working in the service industry condition one to respond politely and appropriately, even if the question or demand made is inappropriate.
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Posted on March 7, 2011 by Matty Stone
For those not familiar with BART, it is the train system that links San Francisco to Oakland and to other more forgettable places in the Bay Area. This is what it’s like:
Whatever you do with your graffiti, don’t smoke, drink, or eat it while on BART
Also known as Commandment #6 as told in “The Gospel According To BART.”
However, federal law does NOT require that the seats actually be clean enough to sit on.
“Hey, hippy, why does no one want to sit anywhere near you? Are you the reason that the seats on BART are dirty?”
Sometimes while I’m on BART I play, “Hey, Pal, Are You Dead Or Just Sleeping?”
BART isn’t just for homeless people trying to stay out of the rain. Celebrity impersonator sightings are frequent. Depending on which side of the train this John Goodman wannabe sits, there’s a good chance that the train will be leaning to that side.
Clearly this couple thought that they were on The Orient Express. I love this guy’s cane.
This from the BART website: We are asking you to help keep BART safe for everyone by reporting unattended packages or suspicious behavior. What do we mean by suspicious behavior? Here are some examples: 1) Acting nervous, sweating inappropriately. 2) Taking pictures or videotaping in areas of no interest to the general public. 3) Attempting to get into an area that is off limits. 4) Leaving a package, backpack or briefcase and hurrying away from the area………………..The Bay Area Brit: guilty as charged…………Now if you don’t mind, I’m going to eat and drink and maybe smoke some graffiti.
Filed under: Uncategorized | Tagged: BART parody, Bay Area Brit, funny, humor, Matty Stone, The Bay Area Brit Matty Stone | 7 Comments »
The Bay Area Brit 