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We All Scream For Ice Cream

What made me fall in love with America? I’ll tell you. It was the ice cream.

When I was a kid I remember only three ice cream flavours. Please note the letter “u” in the word “flavors.” This indicates to you, the reader, that my childhood was spent in the land of limited ice cream flavor choice: England. The options were Vanilla, Chocolate, and Strawberry. There was however a fourth flavor. It was the one that combined all three varieties in separate layers like an immense, frozen Pousse Cafe. This was called Neapolitan, and if accidentally left out out of the freezer could quickly degenerate into a messy gray slop. Thus creating the least appetizing ice cream (for its time)

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10 Responses

  1. loooooved it!

  2. No you’re not. Sorry for the pun I mean. You can’t fool me, I’m one of those clever Yanks what’ve been licking a bazillion ice cream flavors for decades and I know.

    Best ever flavor? (That, alas, I can’t seem to find anymore.) When I was still pre-school there was a little ice cream place about two blocks from my house (up a dirt road and in Portland, Oregon no less) that had a black licorice flavor. Damn it was good!

    Of course, my mom hated it because I was 4 or 5 and it was black and she had to do the laundry. But still.

  3. Matt, you may have fooled the rest of the Yanks on this blog but you haven’t fooled me. You & I know full well it was the Brits who spawned the bastardization of ice cream flavours. Need I remind your audience of that early ice cream concoction, Crunchy Frog? Rams Bladder? Larks Vomit? Cockroach Cluster? Anthrax Ripple? I’ve alrady contacted the proper authorities, and a one Constable Clitoris should be knocking at your door any minute now.

    • Daryl, I cannot figure out which is the funniest of your ice cream selections, but be assured they all made me shift uncomfortably.
      I remember a bit on Weekend Update on SNL where Norm Macdonald was talking about how investigators have narrowed down the source of the massive food poisoning outbreak (due to bad ice cream) to two flavors:
      Vanilla or Uncooked Pork Swirl.

  4. I was there… and your addiction to one particular flavour was legendary. If you’d had more flavours to choose from then it just would have been a wider selection to reject in favour of chocolate.

    • Hm, you managed to spell both favo(u)r and flavo(u)r correctly, my brother, Which means you also speak the truth regarding my legendary love for chocolate ice cream. It was those chocolate shakes poolside at the Hilton in L.A. that did it.

  5. I am sure you have a different opinion about milkshakes after your experience with 5+ flavours and one blender! Have you heard about this?

  6. […] That wouldn’t be the worst ice-cream flavor I had ever heard of. […]

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