A few years ago, I was on the N Judah returning home after a Saturday night of drunken debauchery out in the avenues. It was a bright, Sunday June morning, not unlike any other beautiful San Francisco day. I was trying to remember the name of the woman I had woken up next to…Svetlana? No…maybe [...]
Filed under: Uncategorized | Tagged: Bay Area Brit, British writer living in the Bay Area, Funny true story, Gay Pride, humor, Matty Stone, The Bay Area Brit, The Gay Area Brit, We're Here We're Queer Get Used To It | 1 Comment »
Dear God This is the first time I have ever written a suicide note…….well….not counting that one time after I strangled that homeless guy and dumped his body in the lake after I accidentally gave him $20 thinking it was a dollar and he wouldn’t give it back. I didn’t know his name and so [...]
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To My Dear Lovely Kate, or should I say, Duchess of Cambridge, as you are now known. As I sat by my mailbox waiting for my velvet cloaked invitation to your wedding (an invitation that never came by the way.) I wondered how long it would be before [...]
Filed under: Uncategorized | Tagged: Bay Area Brit, Dear Kate Middleton, humor, Matty Stone, Matty Stone is The Bay Area Brit, The Bay Area Brit takes on the Royal Family | 2 Comments »
I recently bought a trunk at a flea market and was surprised to discover that it had a false bottom. Under the faux cover I discovered a diary written in 1909 by a man named Dr. York Van Landingham. Here is a page: July 17th 1909 She was from Mother Russia and her name was [...]
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I have been told by some of my friends and past and present loves that I can at times be…….paranoid. However, in the words of either Jesus or Kurt Cobain (I forget which) “Just because you’re paranoid doesn’t mean they aren’t after you.” And so, Mr Bay Area Brit, how does this paranoia manifest itself? [...]
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I love my cat, I really do, but I think she’s trying to drive me insane. If it’s not by pouncing on my bed at 6 a.m. and slowly inching up my chest and nuzzling up to my face, its by placing herself on the edge of the bed and allowing her body to go [...]
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I love the French. I suppose that’s not a particularly popular thing to say, especially if you’re either English or American…but there it is. A friend just returned from a trip to Paris; she fell in love with it. It happens to the best of us. When the French opposed George W’s 2003 invasion of [...]
Filed under: Uncategorized | Tagged: Bay Area Brit, British in the Bay Area, Freedom Fries, funny blog, humor, I hate the French, I love the French, Matty Stone, The Bay Area Brit | 4 Comments »
